Tuesday, July 28, 2009

His Mother

I lay in bed awake at night thinking about our son. Our sweet baby boy that is almost certainly been born and is probably tucked into bed with several other children in an orphanage. It is my hope that he has already arrived at Hannah's Hope, the orphanage that is run by our agency. I imagine him exploring his new environment and being loved on by the special mothers that make Hannah's Hope a safe place to be for orphaned children. As I think of him, my mind automatically goes to his birth mother, her possible circumstances and what she must be feeling having just given up a most precious gift of her child. Either by choice or by necessity, this must be one of the hardest moments in her life. Her body probably still shows some signs of the pregnancy. Daily reminders of the pain she has endured. Chances are that AIDS or some other disease has weakened her to the point of being unable to care for her sweet baby. She looks to those around her for help to find that everyone else is also in this same plight. What kind of world do we live in where a mother is not able to care for her baby? Where one country has so little in terms of basic needs while another country bursts with wealth? Where one country is being destroyed by a disease that another country has the drugs to subdue? These are the thoughts that I struggle with on a daily basis. What can be done so that less mothers have to make this enormous sacrifice? What can I do to help not only the children but the mothers as well?

I yoyo between the feelings of excitement and sorrow as I look ahead to the amazing gift of life that our family is about to receive but also reflect on the sacrifices and injustice that have occurred to make this gift a reality.


  1. so beautifully put...I cannot imagine having to give up my girls because I was too weak or no one else was around to help. When I think of your son coming to know you two as papa & mama, I think of how you will be instilling an attentive heart towards God's voice. Maybe it will be through him and other children adopted from Ethiopia to serve as instruments of praise and truth in plight. I was thinking of you all today and count it with joy to know that you are living out the Kingdom life. Blessings--Kamille

  2. I completly understand...and am now even experiencing his grief...it's crazy...maybe it's love.

    I can't wait to hear about ur sweet little boy... Maybe we'll travel together!
    Mitzi from TN ....waiting on a court date

  3. Reading your blog makes me feel even more how beautiful adoption is. I hurt for all the mothers and rejoice that this little one doesn't have to suffer but WILL know loving parents. There ARE enough people in the world to care for the orphans....that to me is the sad part , that ALL the orphans aren't going to be given homes but some are left to spend their lives alone. I wish it was easier to adopt so we could adopt more quicker and cheaper.....

    We could help you out with a Mow-a- thon or Rake-a- thon (in the fall). We all bring the mowers and your neighbors pay and the money will go towards your adoption. The Renslows would be in!! Gayla

  4. A constant struggle we all face, but one that is on all of our hearts. Knowing that your child is with you for a purpose, but also knowing the Biological mom(s) are out there too, and it must be hard on them. We do a lot of praying, giving, and teaching our children about compassion, about second chances, and about how we can help now and in the future.

  5. love you, Auntie Heidi

  6. I have had those thoughts, too, Sarah! Our joy in adoption is paired with the birth mother's sorrow... In those times we just hold to God's calling to adopt. Can't wait to hear your news! SOON!

  7. Sarah, this post is perfect. I just got your email on the AGCI listserv, and this post is just the thing I would like to reflect on as my husband and I get ready to travel to Ethiopia to meet our son in a week and a half. Through great pain comes this unspeakable joy of knowing our adopted children. How can that even be?

    Congratulations on your referral. I rejoice with you as you meet your child in pictures for the first time!